Tuesday, June 3, 2014
The lucid tremors of an ardent dream
Stir the chambers of my heart -
Awaking memories of what might seem
A futile gift, or worlds apart.
The imposition of cruel landscapes
Scars the texture of my soul
With a tyrannic beauty that scrapes,
Sears, sighs, swallows me whole.
Endless Pacifics of wild, sapphiric blue
Stretch across the psychic expanse,
Luring me into an impious pew,
A martial peace, a conscious trance.
Long whispers slide upon the shore,
Silent songs of a forgotten defeat;
From whence they come I knew before,
But now their source is quite discreet.
They tell me of a chaotic divorce,
A thunderous centre rippling into space;
Time itself is shattered by primordial force,
And ev'ry instant is a furious embrace.
These voiceless words mutineer my mind,
Taking the shape of an illumined night;
This unbearable song becomes entwined
With tortuous, invisible light.
Thus I dream of heaven upside down,
Of starry gates impaled by pride.
The order of patience becomes a flurry flown,
And the stoic king becomes Chance's bride.
It is no different on these terrestrial plains:
I wonder at the new molten ice,
The illusory mirror, the solar rains;
But I linger at the locus of our splice.
We are two beings conjoined into one:
You are great, I am small.
But where I fail, your will be done,
So I fall, fall, and unhappily fall.
It is this breach by which I am trialed;
All love turns inward to black, ugly pain.
But I yearn to be reconciled
To you, to the hymn with no refrain.
The dream is an image no less real
Than the salving torment of Christ's cross -
Except where I envision a ruptured seal,
All sorrow is repaired in His loss.
I am ensnared by your oceanic eyes,
Your autumnal curls, bright disguise.
The warmth of your great, giving life
Strives against never-ending strife.
To be redeemed I must firstly yield -
Surrender! proud sword, sad shield!
Your body is immortal love, gracious nerve -
This world and I were made to serve.